Swingers And The Swinging Lifestyle
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To some people the mere mention of sharing their partner sexually
is enough to incite riotous behavior. To others, it stirs
feelings of deep arousal, curiosity, and extreme excitement. The practice
of swinging is often looked at as shameful and less than desirable
behavior for a married couple yet each year more and more couples
either investigate or actually dabble in the lifestyle.
So Why All The Taboo About Swinging?
While swinging is not illegal it is generally looked at as
a sin in many religions. Married couples are supposed to
remain monogamous in their relationship. Having sex with another person
outside of the marriage is not what upstanding citizens should do.
While it is perceived as cheating or adultery, swinging is neither.
It is a conscious decision between two consenting adults who desire
to explore another avenue of their relationship. Social norms and
values are what has prevented the lifestyle from developing a better
name in the community.
Various Stages & Levels Of Swinging
Swinging is generally something that develops over time within
a relationship. Usually the couple is a bit more relaxed
socially and therefore more able to interact with others on a sexual
level. Hugging, kisses on the cheek, or a light pat on the ass occur
between groups of couples who have grown close together over time.
The behavior is accepted because everyone has grown comfortable within
the group. As the situation progresses over time the developing relationship
falls into one of the categories below:
Light Petting & Fondling - All
parties are comfortable with touching, petting and casual tactile
- Same Room Sex - This is where one couple will have sex in front
of another couple and vice versa. The only sexual activity is between
the partners however the other couple is present watching or having
- Oral Sex - The two couples actually perform
sex on on each other with or without condoms. This is the first
instance of sexual activity, other than petting, outside of the
relationship but does not include intercourse.
- Same Room Swap - Intercourse is now acceptable between all
parties concerned, however all sexual activity must be performed in
the presence of their respective spouses.
- Full Swap - Only the fully qualified swingers allow full swap
as this is where sexual intercourse is now allowed in separate rooms
without the other spouse present.
There are other
types of swinging
however they are all simply variations of the categories listed above.
Could We Be Swingers?
Although the swinger lifestyle may sound intriguing, it is
defiantly not for everyone. Countless marriages have been
destroyed by swinging and the number one reason was jealousy. Jealousy
is hard to get past even if one wants to do so. The memories of your
spouse with another are long lasting and can eat away the ties that
keep a marriage strong. Before swinging ask yourselves a question
or two from the list below and keep track of your responses. More
negative reactions is a sign that perhaps swinging might not be the
right path for your relationship to travel.
Would I be mad if I saw another person kiss
my spouse even if I knew my spouse didn't initiate the kiss?
- Would I be mad if I saw my spouse enjoying a massage from someone
else other than myself?
- Do you get excited thinking about your spouse having sexual intercourse
with another person?
- How would you feel if your spouse wanted to stay longer than you did
at another couples sex party?
- How do you feel when you see your spouse dancing with another member
of the opposite sex?
- Would you enjoy seeing your partner receive pleasure during oral sex
from another person?
- How would you feel seeing a complete stranger at a swinger's club
making advances towards your spouse?
If you are serious about swinging please read these questions over with
your spouse and really discuss the answers carefully with each other as
this is usually a good starting point to begin swinging.
If You're Interested In Swinging
If you are interested in learning more about the swinging
lifestyle here are some places to start. Rent some XXX movies
about wife swapping. Watch the movie and pretend you are one of the
characters. Make note of how you feel during the different scenes
and if you become a little upset watching your spouse with another
person you probably should stay out of swinging.
Even the slightest bit of uneasiness should be an immediate warning
sign to stay away from this lifestyle. In fact, just watching the
movie should have brought on strong sexual urges and mild fantasy
if you are truly and naturally ready to start your journey into swinging.
Often there are swingers clubs nearby or
websites that can direct you to the right place to start. Generally
the clubs are the best place as there are genuine people to meet right
there. Online meetings can often go wrong or never develop at all.
If there are no clubs in your area you can join an online website
and see if there are people in your area interested in meeting.
Swinging is a journey. Not everyone is comfortable
right away and often takes a few meetings before the chemistry is
right. Make sure to take it slow and at the first sign of discomfort
or sadness make sure to abandon the plan and rethink the evening before
another marriage falls ruin to swinging. If you do decide to swing
insist that your partners all wear condoms and change them after each
use with a person. Never wear the same condom from one woman
to the next.